Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
        I do not believe, as is common, that age brings with it wisdom; my mother (and consequently, myself) are bright examples of how time does not cure the tendency to make irrational decisions. When I was a small child, I saw my mother as the brightest star in the evening sky; she was my light, my direction, my goddess. Any mistakes or unintelligent decisions she made were, in my mind, exempt from ridicule; being my mother, she was, of course, the epitome of perfection.
        Drawing closed the blinds of my childhood, I grew into the realization that my mother, as all others, was a flawed creature; her brilliant red hair came from a plastic bottle from the second aisle of the supermarket, and correspondingly, so did her self-worth. As I aged, it was forced upon me the degree to which she placed value in appearance; no test score could bring joy into her eyes the way it did when I placed aside twenty extra minutes in the morning to curl my hair and apply a touch of mascara.
        My mother seemed to embrace my teenage years. At the time, her enthusiasm perplexed me; in a way, it still does. Time has allowed me to contemplate her mentality to infinite degrees, however, and it is my firm belief that my experience of youth allowed her to relive her own, pushing me to be the daring and firm young woman she hadn't succeeded in being at such a time in her own life.
        We were, in our own ways, entrancingly beautiful; my mother saw beauty in herself by the wave into which her hair naturally fell, the soft, slick curve of her eyelids, the light, rough freckles that spastically dotted her light cheeks. I, too, found these to be the qualities in which she possessed the most astonishing quantities of beauty; the fact that she took pride in her physical features accentuated my realization that they were truly the most radiant part of her. In myself, my mother saw a subdued, straw-haired, rosy-cheeked child whose potential for beauty was infinite, but wasted by her lack of enthusiasm and effort. It remains true; the effort with which I attend to my appearance each day is, in fact, abysmal. However, in myself, I saw other delicate and wonderful qualities that she did not take the care to notice: my patience, eye for design, and bold opinions were what I considered, personally, to be redeemingly beautiful.
        Over the years, my mother and I gradually grew apart, time and distance only being incremental factors of our separation. The main wall that was contrived was the result of our wide and insurmountable differences, and though I was intent on its construction, I admit I was quite disappointed when she, too, appeared unscathed by it.
        We were much closer when I was a child, but I do not remember a time when, in all honestly, I truly loved her. Kisses were soft traditions from infanthood, with no depth to their light touches; hugs were warm and soft, but of no connection to each other. It seems, in my mind, as if I was always acting out expected actions, performing in a role that was never quite in sync with my mentality. There was something lacking in our relationship that has grown even more evident over the years: mutual love.
        I have no doubt that my mother loved having a child; it was evident in her frequent smiles, photographs, comforting words. Oftentimes, however, I find myself lost in grey memories and enveloped by hovering curiosities of whether she loved me at all. Her actions would suggest so, having continually nurtured me, doted on me, held me close; however, the impersonality of these motions drives me to question whether she did hold love for me in her heart, or whether she possessed solely the love of being a mother.
A piece I wrote today. Not part of any larger work, and not entirely sure what brought it on.
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2013-11-26
To Be a Mother by ~typewritersandlaceA fascinating evolution of a little girl into a woman through how she sees and interacts with her mother. ( Suggested by poeticperfectionist and Featured by inknalcohol )
:iconvorpalbeast:
VorpalBeast Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm crying so hard right now, you have written exactly our relationship. My mother has not even seen my 8 month old baby girl but once when she was born. My mom only lives an hour away and won't come see me. I don't have a car so I can't go see her. She was the best mom till I hit 8 and I was diagnosed with Devic's Disease which is like MS.After that we start growing further and further apart. I love her but it's a have to love. Me and my father however truly love each other. That is why it hurts me so bad to know that my mom and i don't have that. Thank you so much for writing this. As i was reading it i could see so much of my confusion on the subject reveal its self. You have really helped me see and thank you soo much
Reply
:icontypewritersandlace:
typewritersandlace Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
I am so sorry to hear that. A baby is a beautiful thing and she is missing out on such a huge part of your life. However I hope you can grow and learn from your relationship with your mother and be a great parent to your daughter, as I know you will be. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. :)
Reply
:iconrodtheworm:
rodtheworm Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013
I'm so glad this is filed under fiction. :iconsadplz:
Reply
:icontypewritersandlace:
typewritersandlace Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
Me too.. :) However it's not the case for some people, as I can tell from the comments...
Reply
:iconlikakinsky:
LikaKinsky Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hm... Sometimes people really feel themselves lonely despite the fact, that other think about them, take care of them. All these seems lie, but if other people become indifferent to a person, he or she will be really unhappy and sooner or later he/she will understand it. 

You've made me think about this. Thanks)
Reply
:iconlazy-the-king:
Lazy-the-King Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Student General Artist
I wish it was so simple with my own mother, although in ways it's so... eerily similar to my own life, just not as painful as it is subtle as stated here.
Reply
:iconmina12310:
mina12310 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Student General Artist
bravo 
Reply
:iconkuku88:
kuku88 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
So I read the whole thing, and I must say; that was a very well-done short story. The main thing that bothered me at times were the big words; but maybe that's just because I'm a 14-year-old used to writing with words that aren't as...advanced. Not that I don't remember what they mean; just I never remember them while writing. 

Anyway, brilliant job. The subject is a touchy one, but you did a pretty good job. Sometimes I've wondered that too, but my mother and I are close. We may not kiss and don't hug as much as I hug my dad, but we can talk like sisters and I know I love her. For those out there who feel this way with their mothers, it's a little sad; but I understand what you mean. 
But with my mom, it's the opposite. Good test scores make her happy, while my dad wishes I'd wear more girly clothes. My older brother wants me to be more girly in terms of becoming more popular. xD

Congrats on the DD! Seeing as this piece is form 2011, I'll be checking out the rest of your gallery. :D
Reply
:icontypewritersandlace:
typewritersandlace Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and leave such an in-depth comment! I haven't been active on the site lately but I'll be adding some new pieces seeing as how my page has exploded in the past few days. Thanks so much for the comment... it means a lot! :)
Reply
:iconmetal-goddess:
Metal-Goddess Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
this is amazing!!!
Reply
:icondustybeijing:
dustybeijing Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013   General Artist
"...rough freckles that spastically dotted her light cheeks."

Spastically? Do you mean spasmodically? sporadically? erratically?

Sorry, it's an interesting and otherwise well-written piece, but that word leaps out at me something awful.
Reply
:icontypewritersandlace:
typewritersandlace Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
Thanks! Sometimes I can't notice the words that don't work in my own writing. A second set of eyes always helps. :)
Reply
:iconwesleyblakereese:
WesleyBlakeReese Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
Thank you for writing my relationship with my mother in words.

"We were much closer when I was a child, but I do not remember a time when, in all honestly, I truly loved her."

No one believes me whenever I said something remotely similar to this, but in all honesty, I think I only hug my mother out of what feels like obligation, not love.
Reply
:icontypewritersandlace:
typewritersandlace Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
Sorry to hear that. Thanks for taking the time to read and relate to my piece however. I hope things improve for you and your mother. :)
Reply
:icondraenei-friend:
draenei-friend Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconbravoplz:
Reply
Flagged as Spam
:icontypewritersandlace:
typewritersandlace Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
Thanks. I wrote this a while ago and was surprised when it was chosen for a daily deviation. This is still something I have trouble with however and I will try to improve on it!
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
Reply
:iconshostalicht:
Shostalicht Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
I really love how emotive this is. The themes of love and femininity are explored thoroughly and I must admit, I have have had similar feelings and questions before though in my case they concern an ex girlfriend instead of a mother. Did my ex love me, or did she just love the idea of being in love with an idealised vision of me that just wasn't there?

In short, your piece is really insightful and it makes me think.
Reply
:iconsciencevsart:
sciencevsart Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You have an amazing way of painting lines with words. Lines of sadness, lines of love, lines of questions. And pain of the silent, creeping kind that clenches around the heart slowly.

Beautiful, if depressing, work.
Reply
:iconhalofreakgirl:
halofreakgirl Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
 The words in this work are very precise and deep, easily understood. After reading this, I sense a soft sadness, but at the same time a calm acceptance of reality, almost numbness. It's as if I just watched a girl become a woman from the sidelines. Very impressive.
Reply
:icontypewritersandlace:
typewritersandlace Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
Wow, thanks so much. You've taken a lot from this piece that was implicit - thanks for taking the time to dig deeper. It means a lot!
Reply
:iconhalofreakgirl:
halofreakgirl Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! Thank you for writing that touching piece!
Reply
:iconkoal103:
koal103 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:iconfeelplz:
Reply
:iconkatrinava:
Katrinava Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
It's so true. I can relate to this in a way.
Sometimes I've wondered if she would miss me if I left this world. It is nothing important but I'd be okay if I had to leave this world with no regrets. It would be fine but life is fine too. She loves me and I love her.
Reply
:iconperry101:
Perry101 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
Wow, this is beautiful. I can actually really relate to this, and it made this piece even more touching for me. So, thank you. Keep writing, you're great at it :)
Reply
:iconalrathi:
Alrathi Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Student General Artist
Damn... this is impressive. You have a way with words! I wish I could say something more substantial about such an awesome piece of writing, but my words have been stolen from me XD
Reply
:icontypewritersandlace:
typewritersandlace Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. I love words and have always wanted to do something more with my writing but it's hard to be recognized... thanks so much for your feedback and support. :)
Reply
:iconnothingalarming:
NothingAlarming Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Student General Artist
This is so touching. The evolution of how children think of their mother is a path of continual disillusionment and unconditional love. The way you captured this is heart-wrenching. :') :+fav:
Reply
:icondonmain13:
DonMain13 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Student General Artist
Congrats on the DD
Reply
:iconslayer-1412:
Slayer-1412 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you for the strong piece, it certainly reflects the obsession that some people have with mere ideas. Ideas that could bring much potential in full fruition.

Congratulations on the DD as well :aww:
Reply
:icontypewritersandlace:
typewritersandlace Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
Thanks so much! For taking the time to read and the wonderful comment. :)
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day! :heart:
Reply
:iconrynq:
rynq Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
Sadly, I can connect very well with this, except it is my father who I doubt ever loved me, or if he ever will.
Reply
:icontypewritersandlace:
typewritersandlace Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
Sorry to hear that's true. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and I hope you have found other relationships in your life to blossom through.
Reply
:iconwingdiamond:
WingDiamond Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
I've always thought when you grow up somehow you get wise 
But I've been living in a nightmare behind a party disguise 

Reply
:iconrobson666:
robson666 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist
congratulations to the well deserved Daily Deviation Clap Clap
Reply
:icontypewritersandlace:
typewritersandlace Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
Thanks so much!
Reply
:iconmariasaruli:
MariaSaruli Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Great, this is a thing that most girls feel. I'm one of those.
Reply
:icontypewritersandlace:
typewritersandlace Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
Sorry to hear that. However I'm glad you could relate so much to the piece. Thanks for commenting. :)
Reply
:iconmrbrowne:
MrBrowne Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
Beautiful piece.
Reply
:iconguntherson962:
Guntherson962 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
This is very well written, and makes me grateful for the relationship my sisters and I have with our mother.
Reply
:iconaikuwo:
Aikuwo Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
Whether this be for fun or from past experiences, reading this brought shivers down my spine. The bad and the good kind. The bad being that I could relate to this and be emotionally affected by text, haha. The good being that you've put it so beautifully I wanted to read more and find comfort. Its frightening to even think that mothers are just proud to be mothers and do not hold true love for their child as they grow up. Wow. I think many girls would of experienced this as they are growing up.

Love how this gradually went from remembering happy moments to realising something very dark in the end.

Everyone should read this. Wonderfully written and had kept me reading to the end. Congrats on the DD! 
Reply
:icontypewritersandlace:
typewritersandlace Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
Thanks so much for your feedback it means a lot to me. I'm sorry you can relate but I'm glad it touched you so much. :)
Reply
:iconsavaliste:
Savaliste Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
:star: :star: :star: :iconcongratsddplz::iconbravoplz: :star: :star: :star:
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:icontypewritersandlace: More from typewritersandlace


Featured in Collections

Literary Masterpieces by shunsuixnanaofan101

Literature by Dragnor425

words by meowchi75


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
May 19, 2011
File Size
4.0 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
2,760
Favourites
222 (who?)
Comments
45
×